NLP Techniques -Life Values, encourages you to ask when did you last sit down and consider what are the most important things to you in life?
You should do it right now. Get paper and pen (or open a Word document) and list the ten most important things in your life.
Now arrange them in order of importance with #1 the most important and #10 the least important.
Tell me what you value and I’ll tell you where you are headed
Review them carefully and be sure they are your values and not somebody else’s. It is not unnatural as we grow up to pick up our parents’ values and allow them to dominate.
That’s fine if they are truly your values as well, but if they are not, be honest and put your own down.
There is no trick to this. There are no right and wrong answers. Equally, there are no right and wrong values. My values are my values.
They will not be the same as yours. That doesn’t make them wrong and neither does it make yours wrong; they are just different.
Equally, the values you held dear ten
years ago are not necessarily the values you hold dear now.
Sometimes they change during life and it is necessary to re-evaluate. It is also important to know those values.
Why, you ask, is it important to know them? If you don’t know them, you might find it difficult to get what you think you want to achieve.
If you don’t know your partner’s values, you might find you are constantly clashing or inadvertently upsetting her. If you don’t understand your children’s values, there is another recipe for turmoil.
To help you work out your own values look at how you fill your space in your home or office. Consider how and where you spend your time.
Think about what energises you. What do
you spend your money on? Then think about where you are most organised
or disorganised in life?
Let us imagine you set out your values as follows:
1 – Sport; 2 – Socialising; 3 – Cars; 4 – Smart clothes; 5 – Eating at smart restaurants; 6 – Travelling; 7 - Drinking (your favourite alcohol); 8 – Family; 9 – Work/business; 10 – Money.
You will be spending most of your time and money playing or watching your favourite sport, socialising, driving cars, buying smart clothes eating at good restaurants and travelling.
Meanwhile, your family will be
scrimping and scraping, you will be constantly falling out with your
partner, your working/business life will be a mess and you will probably
have to borrow before the end of the month to tide you over until the
next pay day or to prop up your overdraft.
you were a person with this set of values you would probably be taking a
punt on the lottery frequently in the hope that you will win one day,
but if you do, it is most likely that you will spend it all on those
things that represent your highest values.
You might well hope that one day you will be financially independent but in reality you would have no chance.
Unless money comes within the top one or two of your values you will always spend the money on those things that come ahead of it.
If you wish to become independently
wealthy you must value money and look after it.
So if you truly wish to become independently wealth, reassess your values. If you truly wish to have a happy family life, reassess your values.
us imagine that your highest value is family. This is where you will
spend your time. This is what you will spend most of your money on.
carefully your partner’s highest values. For the sake of this
discussion, let us say her highest value is family also.
What is her next highest value? Perhaps it is going to the theatre. If going to the theatre doesn’t appear on your list of values, or if it does but it is very low down, that is an area which may attract tension.
So consider going to the theatre just because it is high on your partner’s list. You may even surprise yourself. In time it may begin to climb up your own list.
If work is low on your list of values, ask yourself why? You will probably consider that you are not very good at what you do, that you are disorganised, that the days drag and you cannot wait to get to Friday and enjoy the weekend.
If you don’t enjoy what you do you will
not be doing what you enjoy. The choices are plain. Either pay more
attention to work and determine that you will enjoy it or make a clean
break and try something else.
I can hear you saying right now that it is not that easy, that you have bills to pay and you can’t just give it up and try something else. Maybe not right now. But you can begin to think about doing something else.
Consider what you would really love to do. You can explore the
qualifications that might be needed. Work out how it might be done.
If you have a partner, discuss it with him or her. Chunk it down into manageable pieces so that you can go for it a bit at a time. Don’t carry on being miserable. Life is too short for that.
It is never too late to change your career or start out on a different path. I was 40 years old when I went to University to study law, and I have had a very successful career since.
Many people achieve their ambitions at far greater ages. It is never too late to learn or to change.
you can see that by studying carefully what you believe are your life
values, you will come to learn whether they really are what you believe
and what you want.
When you examine them carefully you will see that with small adjustments here and there, you can make things happen which you hadn’t believed before.
Be careful about comparing your values with others. Just because Jack Jones has a fancy house and car and oodles of money, does not mean his values are better than yours.
You may have a wonderful partner, family and a large group of loving friends. He may have none of those things. Ask yourself: would I want to swap everything I have for everything he has?
When you truly realise your personal values, you will find it unlocks the door to your future freedom and happiness.
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