If you were charged with making it happen, would you plead guilty or not guilty?
At this point I don’t know whether you are frowning or smiling.
Perhaps it depends upon your interpretation of the question.
It will also depend what you are expecting and where you are looking.
When Jon consulted me recently he opened with the words, “Nothing I do seems to work. I can’t make it happen any more.”
Those were powerful words. They recognised that at some stage in his life he could make it happen, whatever “it” was. But he had lost the secret.
But obviously he had now lost confidence. It was clear from our conversation that when he was younger Jon felt he was invincible.
If he wanted a different or better paid job, he applied for it, turned up confidently for the interview and got the job.
But at some stage he took on a rather bigger challenge and was unexpectedly turned down. That was a blow to his pride and to his confidence.
So when he applied for his next job that bubbly personality was a little subdued and he didn’t get that one either.
It has now become a matter of habit. When he applies for a job he doesn’t expect to be interviewed.
If he is fortunate enough to be interviewed, his confidence is so lacking that he fares badly.
I don’t know, but you might be able to empathise with Jon at least to some extent.
So I ask the question again: if you were charged with making it happen, would you plead guilty or not guilty.
If your answer to the question is “not guilty”, think again. We all make some things happen at some time in our lives, but we tend to overlook our successes and concentrate our attention on the failures.
Search your memory. Use the timeline technique that we describe on another page of this website, go back and find your successes no matter how small they may appear to be.
Maybe it was getting into the junior school football team or netball team when you were just a kid; or getting through your first piano exam; or just pleasing or serving someone somewhere.
Wherever they were, however you experienced them, successes are successes and they are there to be built upon.
It is not time to dwell upon failure. Remember: there is no failure until you give up.
Start by making up your mind what you would really like to achieve.
It may be one thing; it may be a list of things. Think about them and write them down in order of importance.
Now take the top one on the list and think about it more carefully. Make your description more precise. Make it as exact as possible.
Get hold of a picture of your dream. There is bound to be something somewhere on the internet that corresponds with what you want.
Blow it up. Print it off. Stick it up somewhere prominently so that you will see it every day, and keep thinking about it.
Now close your eyes and think on it a while. How do you feel? Do you feel relaxed, excited, nervous, tense?
Are you saying to yourself, “This is what I want and it is mine for the taking” or are you already beginning to talk yourself out of it?
There are plenty of people out there who are quite happy to argue with you if that is what you really want so don’t argue with yourself.
If you find difficulty getting that anxious, nervous chatter out of your head, consider how that nagging little voice sounds.
Does it sound like some voice from the past? Could it be a parent’s voice or a teacher’s voice or some other authority figure?
Is it loud, grating or harsh in tone? Try changing the voice. Make it sound like Mickey Mouse or Daffy Duck. It might not bother you quite so much now.
Now, each time you think about what you want, see yourself succeeding. If negative thoughts intervene, shrink down the picture and push it off into the distance.
When you see yourself succeeding, make the picture bigger and brighter, double the size and then double it again. Hear what you would hear and see what you would see.
See that picture through your own eyes and feel the confidence course through your veins and throughout your body.
You know now that whatever happened in the past was in the past. It is not now. It is not in the future.
Whatever happened in the past has not set you on that road for the rest of your life.
Notice the words “your life”. It is your life. You are in charge of it. You are captain of your ship. It is open to you to steer a new course at any time you choose.
Whatever you have, however small or humble you think it may be, be grateful for it and mentally give thanks every day.
Even if you have only one friend or mild acquaintance in your life, be grateful for whoever you have and give thanks every day.
You will be astonished at the peace that will bring you. You may also be astounded at the difference it may make to your life.
The more you are grateful for what you have, the more you will have to be grateful for.
It is a universal law that I have witnessed and experienced time and again.
Consider this situation for a moment. If a wealthy businessman approached you, told you he liked what you did, would fit well into his organisation and offered you £5 million a year to work for him, how would you respond?
Would you think to yourself, “Gosh, I am not worth that sort of money. I could never justify it”?
Or might you think instead: “You know, I feel very comfortable in my own skin, I believe I am worth every bit as much as someone else is willing to pay me”?
Remember always that the world will take you at your own evaluation.
So believe in yourself, go forward with confidence and be guilty of making it happen.
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